I had fun last Friday and Saturday Nights!

I'll post the details tomorrow. I will just take a rest for a while. I enjoyed so much that now it made me tired. :)

Good Morning

Oh sunshine..

Why you shine like that..

I can't wide open my eyes..

I know..

Your shine is life

Your shine is hope

Your shine is beauty

But please..

Just this morning..

Let me stand out..

Let me shine..

I can't take a picture of myself..

You're devouring my image of beauty..

Oh sunshine, sunshine..

VAIN

I feel good about myself but for quite sometimes I miss the old me. I was once a sweet-looking HS girl but after I entered college and faced the monstrous difficulties of Nursing, I vanished the word "VAIN" in my vocabulary and almost forgot even to look at myself in the mirror because whenever I do, I just feel sad about how I look. :(

However, I still feel beautiful anyway. Kahit haggard-looking lagi at stressed, carry pa din and although nag-gain ako ng weight and I think it's because of a lot of stressors nga, at least hindi nagfade ang cuteness ko! :)

But for now on, I swear, magiging VAIN ever na me.

Not to attract but to just feel na, hindi ko napapabayaan ang sarili ko. right?

Adaptability success!

Since I mentioned on my earlier post about the goodbye-first-semester thing, I came up with this thought. Sorry for my kacornyhan though. :)

The gratefulness I feel right now is more than a million worth of a house and lot.

The tale begun since first semester arrived. It all started in the midst of June. Everyone was all neat to ride another journey of nursing life. Junior year fever had turned everyone into obscured fear of failure and disappointment. It seems that the start of the final judgment of our nursing journey has started. In withal, the separation syndrome captured most of us with the stressful fact that there were people close to us who were transferred into another section.. like me.The turmoil of real college life. Sigh of dismay…..

The tension that incarcerated everybody lasted for weeks. Everyone seemed to be adjusting in process and finally, making new friends in the presence of others.

It’s never easy to embrace new community. Nor will you negotiate the discrepancy of each personality. In a long-term process, there’s still a chance that we're gonna fit each other. There I put the saying, first impressions never last.

I came to the point that I think life with new people would be as impossible as you try to walk your feet over the sea. But reality proved me that I was wrong. No one can truly say it’s impossible without even trying it. It’s a stupefied thought that you cannot befriend a person not your standard. Remember, friendship have no standard.

I like the fact that I developed and handled myself carefully. I can say that I balanced everything around me. Although there were ups and downs scenario, still, I smartly stood up and learned from it. There’s a connection between adjustment and willingness. If you’re willing to adopt your environment then you’re most probably easy to adjust.

My voyage wasn’t all about learning academically but the essence of learning itself. The fact that I am creating reflections now about my experiences is a proof that I actually pointed out the essence of it. I learned by nature, by reality and by heart.

Meeting new people is kind of struggle. But as you continue to live with them, you’re growing positive outlook about humankind. Everything is a struggle but you can lessen the burden if you will just allow yourself to look on the good side of it. I mean, we’re all dependent with each other, generally. No man is an island, right? You need somebody so that you can also learn from him and for you to recognize the essence of learning..

You’ve got to adopt in order to survive…

And I am glad to say…

I passed the adaptability test of the first semester. :)

Passion

July 27, 2010

This was taken before we say goodbye to the hospital where we had encountered our first and fresh nursing experiences. I ♥ nursing and it's fun learning new skills and with the combination of hilarious and awesome group mates around, it deserves a clap! :)

I can't imagine how far I've reached since my very first hospital rotation. Madami ng nangyari sa akin, madami na ding instances ang sumubok sa kakayahan at patience ko pero I am proud to say, I conquered them all. I learned a lot. Now, if you would ask me if I still love nursing, I would definitely answer you, YES. Tinatanong nga ako ni daddy over the phone if I am now enjoying it, and of course i told him yes. I love it so much that it even makes me want to stay in the Philippines after I passed the NCLEX to serve than go abroad. :) But of course, he slightly disapproves the idea pero he always assures me that whatever I choose to make my life, he'll support me. Sabi nga nya sa akin, enjoy ko lang daw ang ginagawa ko, hindi ko maiisip na mahirap ang kursong kinuha ko and just always put passion to it.

Tapos na ang first semester and thank God I passed the subjects. Now, that the new chapter of my nursing life is waiting for me, I'll make sure I will be prepared! :)

Thank You

I saw this message on my mother's shirt a while ago and I didn't make a second thought to take a picture of it. It's something, you know.

This made me adore the teachers more. Teachers who rendered services last local election. Though, they're not well-paid for it, they still made it. That's why I salute all the teachers.

I made a short thank you message for them

To all the teachers!

We will always be thankful to all of you for all the hard works and efforts you have put in,for educating us. Without your guidance, we would have been lost. Thank you for guiding us, inspiring us and making us what we are today.

And

To my mother!

You are a teacher by profession. A teacher who touches and molds the potential of every student. Though you're well-known to be strict, I know that you only want to make sure that no one in your class will leave illiterate.

Do you remember the days when I visit your class in the midst of your lecture? I was observing you the whole time and so proud of you. Teaching is your nature and it shows. There's also a time when you're teaching them how to read one by one. Struggle much? I know right. :) Seriously, I was touched. I was touched on how you're so willing to teach them beyond the thought of the price it costs.Your commitment to your profession never fades. Your dedication is so exceptional.

And thank you for being my mentor of life. You've taught me so much that I could even write a book about it. :) You've shown me the right track and I'll make sure it will be worthwhile. You let me figure out things on my own but with your guiding hands, I was never lost. Thank you, for making the person I am now and for your words that have always been a guiding light throughout.

I'll always bear in mind the lessons you taught me. Thank you for being more than a mother to me. The best of me will always remind me of you. You are the best teacher in the world. :)

To all the teachers

Thank you, for

Infinite gratitude
ought to be given
to those who aspire
and who are driven
to give the great gift
to perform the great feat
of imparting wisdom
and endeavoring to teach.

To all the teachers
who always gave more
than they were ever given
more than they were paid for.
For all the lessons
for all the fun times
and even the stern words
said while still being kind.

Thank You..

A belated Happy teachers' day to all the teachers. :)

What's stressing me now?!

My final grades! I'm gonna see them tomorrow! I am so anxious about it. I did a pretty good job though but I don't want to expect higher grades because if I do, I might get hurt. :( So, I am still not confident if I'm still gonna make it through the scholarship. Sorry Daddy.

Shy-type?

While walking..

I see you from afar..

You're heading to my direction,

but I shifted my way..

I tried to think you're not there..

As if you don't really exist..

Then, you called my attention,

But I tried not to care..

Guilt devoured my soul..

So I walked through your way,

had eye contact with you..

No words said..

Then I left..

I felt inexplicable feelings inside me..

I tried to look calm..

and waited you to come..

Hoping you'll follow..

But I failed

You didn't..

Maybe it's my fault..

I made myself distant to you in the first place..

But Then I realized,

You're pathetic..

You can't..

You can't just be man enough to face me..

To show me you're truly sincere..

You're prideful..

You're pathetic..

Shy-type?

Thanks for your false admiration anyway.

My other half

You are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Thank you for being always there when I needed you most.

You bring me light when I see darkness.

You give me hope when I feel down.

You're...
My Friend,
my companion,
through good times and bad
You're always beside me..
with happiness, with smiles,
with pain and tears,

Thank you for the precious memories that we shared,

we're sharing

and we will share.

For all I am now, you went halves of that.

You're the man.

Boredom

I want to be productive but I can't give justice to that. I do no fun. I lack activity to be busy with. Ang Boring nga. :) Since I don't have bucks to go to the mall and rent movies, I am here blogging about it. I need to watch movies!! HELLO!? I know that by just watching movies I can make myself ooze with imagination and be out of stress. Pero, wala ngang money eh. Sana, kahit walang pasok ang students, my daily allowance pa din. :)

It's sembreak and I want to make my vacation valuable. I have plans with my friends but I don't think we're gonna carry out those plans since sobrang wala kaming pera! :) And I want to do something new other than surfing the net, watching tv and reading. It's like the same old story I make everyday. However, since it's bakasyon and walang pasok ang mga estudyante like me, we have obligations at home at hindi mawawala ang household chores! Assignment ko yan everyday kaso procrastination is always the villain of my everyday precious tasks and since procrastination avoids boredom, I can procrastinate the whole time then at the end of the day, I'll just lie on my bed thinking, "Did I make myself useful today?" Kasi naman, walang alisan sa harap ng computer to the point na I forgot to do my chores and even to take a bath :) and that's all because of the internet. YES. BLAME THE INTERNET.

I always felt like being hypnotized by the internet once I am there until I forgot the time being and lived there all day. :) It's stupid how I am so addicted to it although I only read everything that interests me, watch in youtube and etc. Internet enthralls me how far I can go just by one click! I feel like entering a whole new world of fantasy. But after my cyber voyage, boredom greets me again.

"Nice to meet you Bored"

MY GOSH! WALA BANG BAGO! HAHA :) Gusto kong mag-PARTY! PARTY eh! :)

Now, should I see a psychiatrist out of boredom?

Hidden agony

I am a different person. I’ve always been thinking about this several times and the idea still remains. I wear different faces in front of different people. I fear criticism. I fear the way people will alter impressions of me. I fear them believe I was never the person they once used to know. I am a total fraud. Sue me!

Double Trouble

We are 3 siblings in the family and I am the eldest. We're not that close. We fight more than we care for each other. We're different because we quarrel a lot, as in a lot. We grew up like that and now that we're adolescents and mature enough to handle things on our own, we just remain distant together and our relationship just gets worse.

Though annoying as it may seem, I'll still face the same people everyday.

Kahit gaano man kasi kami kalayo sa isa't isa, I know that there's sisterly and brotherly love deep within us, hindi lang talaga kami lumaki na expressive. And I know we will still need each other in times of trouble maybe hindi ngayon pero I know we'll help each other someday.

I lack the guts to make a move to get closer to them because I fear that it'll just be useless. We have different personalities. We clash like titans. We hit each other emotionally and physically. And none of us accepts being deprived by our own little power authority at home.

I can enumerate the moments that we had bondings and laughed together but the rest of my memories with them are such a disaster.

It hurts me to realize that we're hurting each other. Masakit. Ayoko naman na when we grew old, wala kaming pakealamanan. It will give my mother a heart attack. Because I know, It is more painful for a mother to see her children fighting. I know because I can see it right through my mother's eyes.

I don't drag myself to look clean of sins since I admit I make things difficult to them. OK. Blame me. It's just that, we're different. I may not the best sister for them but I love them unconditionally kahit hindi nila ramdam yun. Each of them will always be a special part of me. :)

Love takes time

I like your admiration but it pisses me when you think I like you back. It makes me uneasy when you throw cheesy lines at me just to make me believe you're sincere. Stop that dude. I doubt if I will ever get to appreciate your effort.

Hindi lang kasi lahat nadadaan sa pacheesy-cheesy lines lang.

It takes a long time for me to love someone and what we are now isn't enough to settle myself to be in loved with you. And then you're here asking me to be your girlfriend. It's not that easy. Sabi nga ni Mariah Carey "Love takes time".

I don't close any of my doors to fall in love. Ang gulo no? Hindi naman kasi maiiwasan yun eh, kahit gaano pa kita ka-hate ngayon darating din ang time na baka madevelop ako pero it depends pa rin sa akin kung paano ko iha-handle ang feelings ko. Ang ironic nga eh. Siguro dala na ito ng pagiging single ko for so many years. BUT TO CLEAR, I AM NOT DESPERATE TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND at dahil hindi pa yun ang focus ko, I am fighting the urge to like you.

There are things that I need to set aside first so that when I'm ready to face them, I am sure that I'll be responsible enough not to let them go. Yung kaya ko ng panindigan. :)

So, I want you to stay far from being totally in loved with me. I can't reciprocate the feelings you have for me right now. Magulo. However, if you really do love me, you'll have the will to prove that to me regardless the pain you might get. You'll wait.

Overrated :)

I am 18 but my 7 year-old heart still remains. I am still fascinated with cartoons and humorous shows that most children enjoy watching. Sabi nga, I am child at heart. HAHA :D

MR. BEAN is the topnotcher among my favorites. Mapa-animated version pa yan or not. I perceive the show as a comic mystery for me. That there's hidden lesson in every quirky idea Mr. Bean does, it may look stupid but it has logic. I may sound overrated but I think what I learned from watching the show is that

"If there's a will, there's always an EASIEST way" and

"Every problem has its EASIEST solution".

If you're familiar with the Mr. Bean show, you can absolutely relate to me. HAHA :D And I want to add that Mr. Bean's adoration to TEDDY is so cute! HE IS SO SO CUTE! PLUS the Mr. Bean's BRITISH LEYLAND MINI CAR 1000 and his "love interest" IRMA GOBB. The show is so wholesome that I can even watch all the episodes many times in youtube. HAHA

The show may seem psycho-comic but the genuineness of Mr. Bean's heart is exceptional.

P.S I saw a Mr. Bean stuffed toy sa Simply Nice gift shop! That's why "I am planning" to purchase one as a holiday present to myself. HAHA. Pero may mini TEDDY na ako. :)

Do you enjoy the rain? :D

When it rains, I don't know how to react on things that cross my mind.

I feel nostalgic, sad and alone. It brings out these feelings that I can't truly explain. I feel like I am up to nothing. Parang there's something that I have to figure out and something that I have to reflect on. Is it hormonal changes?:) But, seriously, It's disturbing. However, to forget those unlikely feelings, I curl up with a good book and hot coffee while it rains.

I love watching it streaming down the window panes and listening to the noise that it makes when it does that and I can't deny the cold weather with it, it's relaxing except the sad element it adds that makes me feel down.

Pero of course, kapag naulan, masarap humilata sa kama't matulog! HAHA :D DB?!

How about you? Do you like rain? :)